Autistic adults as parents

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Can an adult with autism be a successful father? The answer is absolutely yes, according to the correct circumstances.Although it is unlikely that a man with moderate autism or is unlikely that they are skills for a child’s parents, many people with high-function autism are ready and can assume children’s elevation problems.

Many aspects of education can be stricter for moms and dads in the spectrum of autism.Reverse, however, also the truth; There are several ways in which education can be easier if it is aurerte (especially if your children are also in the spectrum of autism).

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Elevado-Performance of autism and health of parents

In 1994, the diagnostic and statistical guide on mental disorders (DSM) was changed to include a new form of autism Call Asperger syndrome.It included people who have never been considered autistic and changed from how people think about autism.

People with this form of high functionality, autism was known as intelligent, capable and, often, successfully.Although they may have had problems with sensory problems and social communication, they could (at least at the same time) to mask, overcome or avoid these problems.

Since Asperger’s syndrome did not become a formal diagnosis until 1994, very few of the people who grew up with the symptoms until then, had something like the diagnosis of the spectrum of autism, at least until who had children.

In some cases, when making a diagnosis, the parents discovered that they were also at the end of the high function of the autism spectrum.

In 2013, the fifth edition of the DSM (called DSM-5) was eliminated by Asperger’s syndrome as a diagnosis.Now there are three levels of autistic spectrum, with a level 1 that covers aspressse and levels 2 and 3, which define those who would be considered ‘moderately’ or ‘strictly’ autistic.

Myths about autistic parents

There are many many myths that surround autism . These myths can find it difficult to understand how an incredible person can be.Here are some misunderstandings of this type of autism:

  • People with autism do not feel normal emotions .Although people with autism can have several different reactions to certain situations or experience that some of their neurotype peers, they feel joy, anger, curiosity, disappointment, delight, love and all other emotions .
  • People with autism can not love. as indicated above, it is not completely true.
  • People with autism can not empathize with others .In some cases, it is difficult for an autistic person to put on the shoes of another person who wants, to feel or react to the ways that are outside of their own experience. But it’s true for everyone.For example, it is difficult to empathize a child who wants to do what he does not like.
  • People with autism can not communicate well . People with high official authenticism use spoken languages, as well as neurotype companions.However, they may have difficulties with ‘social communication’. You may have to work harder to have a sensation of body language or subtle communication molds, such as non-verbal signals.

Reflections on the education of parents with Autism

Jessica Benz Dalgousi In the new Brunswick, Canada, is the mother of five children.He received his diagnostics of autism as a result of the search for answers to his children’s problems. Here are the reflections and advice of it on how to raise children as an adult in the autism spectrum.

What did you find your paralyticism? Do you recommend the diagnosis if you think you can be diagnosed?

my own diagnoses came as an adult then decomo the two of my children were diagnosed and we startedDiscuss family history with one of the psychologists with which we work. When I mentioned a certain experience as a child, forcing with what I saw from my children, an easy light bulb had gone.

I pursued the detection and evaluation of there, unless it is better to understand myself as a person and as a parent. I think more information is always better, especially about you.If someone feels like autism, be part of the tapestry, inventing their own life, it is worth asking about it and requesting an evaluation.

Since we verify the labels of the label to take care of the instructions, better understand what makes our own life and themselves,We can better guarantee that we use the appropriate configuration in terms of care and interactions to other people.

I discovered that you install your area to have (more) children? And if so, how did you make a decision?

Of course, knowing that I love my decisions, but at that time I was diagnosed, we had three children.Then, it did not fear to have more children, it just meant that we had a really wonderful understanding of the children we have.

Have a better understanding of how sometimes I felt why I thought some things were so easy for other people than they were for me, and feeling that I just did not do everything well enough,He authorized me to create positive changes in my life to involve the parents more involved and deliberate.

I remember that I feel guilty when my old man was youth, I’m looking forward to sleeping desperately.I felt it was the first time I could really breathe, because she woke up in the morning.

It was not the case that I did not overcome it. I really liked it, and I loved studying the world with it.But the wine I felt, because I was really expecting to sleep and a couple of hours, I should not be ‘in’, I got confused.

Recognizing my own diagnosis that these a couple of hours a day is the period of attention necessary for me, it allowed me a father without exhaustion and exhaustion, what I felt before.

Next, I learned the other things I needed was to feel it could bloom as a father. I have always been a fairly folded person in terms of routine, cleaning, planning and planning.He put a focus of life to life, led to a great stress when he needed to make things reach in the table, or when an unexpected demand occurred.

it turns out that parenting is simply full of unexpected requirements and schedules that are not yours. I said you experiment using things that I used to support the children of my own children, and a lot of my surprise, things turned easier.

I implemented a routine to control the house, routine to control the day.Definitely, I will write a daily schedule every day (with visual components, as well as for young children), so we can all see what happens every day and know how to plan in advance.

Just recognize that it deserved to give you the same supports I suggest that my children made me feel that we both met with my own needs and showing my children who can do the same, as adults and manage their own lives.Many people listen to that Wordautismand and suggest that someone who needs other people to establish these supports.

It is important for me important that my children believe that they can direct their own lives and abyss in their lives for their own needs that reject the fact that he himself -This is how they can normalize what they have too much time listening about ‘special needs’. ‘

We all have specific needs, even people who are neurotypes.We must have the opportunity to recognize our children and maintain their own needs.

Now, why do we have five children? I mean, they are noisy, they are Hawits, argue, they are winding each other, and someone always worries someone else.

however, they are also deeply understood, they are fully supported.In a world where friendship and social interactions are difficult, these children grow, so it is immersed in a commitment training and work together so that they are well equipped to participate with other children.

They will always have a family support network in their lives, which understands them absolutely, even if they can not always agree. This is important for us.

I discovered that you have a detriment, how are your parents? For example, did you decide to ask for more help or change the way you respond ‘bad’?

it made me more intentional and more conscious.He also gave me a space to accept that I also have to satisfy their own needs so that it may be better able to do the best I can.I learned to recognize when I was overarled before obtaining, and I learned to take a while to replenish.

I think also in my childhood, and how terrible I felt when I could not stop crying over something that should be a minor question, or when I had just returned home from school and I was in anger for no . reason.

I remember a shame that I felt like a child about those things, and I want to be sure that my children never feel it.I was lucky and I received a graduate student and the answer to these things by chance, by virtue of the parents who understood them deeply.

I was never punished and always beloved unconditional through these melts, although I did not know there was something that was.But I still remember how the feeling of shame of the inability to control your feelings and emotions, like everyone else seemed to be able to power.

I was a student model, always at the top of my class, and I lived horrified by someone I shouted because I had to say hello to a friend at the grocery store.

I try to help my children understand myself.I want you to know what I understand why something unexpected can get rid of all day and that I do not blame them or feel that they should be able to cope with the best.

If I knew that my brain did not handle things like everyone else did, I think it might be kinder to me. As a father, I want to teach my children to be kind to myself.

In what types of Parenting Fathers find what you found, because it has the number?

Let’s start with Playdates. This is a special type of suffering for me.First, I also have a lot of people who come in my surroundings (Egadno!) Or I have to take my children to the environment of another person. In general, other people can have in maternity, but nobody except other parents who raise children with autism in children.

So, I’m stuck, being hyperstittic to make sure nothing is broken, trying to hit a small conversation and never really knew when he stops talking.All Playdates require a whole day of downtime for all of us, and probably pizza frozen at night to restore.

We are going to Touchs Touchs . I am someone whose declared dream job had a fire tower.No people, no noise, no invasion, only silence and open space. ‘You do not get bored?’ People asked. I did not understand the question.

Obviously, life in the house with five children looks a little different. The headphones are very widespread in our house.A few years ago, I was tired of screaming everyone to ‘reject it!’ I gave up and got all my own headphones, so I can save the volume of home in a boring roar.

A calm time is not subject to discussion.Most children stopped, but they are still asked to spend some time in their room every day that read calmly, playing on the tablet (Oh, how I love technology!) And existing without bouncing sofas and walls .

When they are at school, it only applies to smaller children, but on weekends and during the summer it is for everyone. Of course, I tell them that it is important to learn to relax and recharge.

but, in fact, this is how I get from one end of the day to another, without becoming a very capricious father. What in 45 minutes gives me time to have a cup of hot coffee, do not forget to breathe and come back to the day chaos and fun.

Derautismactually will help you do the best job as parents with children with children? If so, how?

Absolutely. I think the most difficult part of junction adjustments with wautcher does not understand.

It’s easy to say all the right things; It is easy to say that we know that they can not control alltown .But to truly understand these feelings to experience them to find out what I wanted to feel that your mind escapes, and accepts your emotions and bodily, and it is also impossible to explain to people who have not experienced.

experienced, however, it gives me a window at the time they live. This allows me to meet with them where they, instead of asking them to be with me halfway. This allows me to be a powerful defender for them.This allows me to tell you that ‘even mom is sometimes seen’.

What are some of the coding methods and strategies, which he mentioned, what would you like to pass?

Take your comfort zone. It is there because it works.If you can get from one end of the day to another with all your favorites and respected, satisfying the needs during the day and has kept everyone safe, has done enough for the day.

Portingisn ‘T Contest , he does not win a prize for being an incredible mother.If your child appears at school with his shirt, because the right way was going to be a fight, hearing that his son was the best option you had.

Yes, even if it were a day of the image, and you got there as the bell bell, while I was still using your pajamas pants. You may want to point to the real pants for the IEP meetings, apparently indicates the correct tone.

shared your children, if so, how is it, how did you do it?

Yes, because it was a constant discussion in our house, this is not a great disclosure.We are talking about Neyroden, as an important part of the world, and about all the people in the world whose brains work in different ways.When they see me, saying: ‘I had this, I’m going to take a bath for half an hour’, they are much easier to tell me when they need a break, because it is something normal and acceptable in our family. .

Do you think it is more difficult to manage neurotype expectations between parents, therapists, teachers and others?

can be, especially if I reveal my own diagnosis.Recently we had someone with my 5-year-old son, who used some attackers and offensive practices. When I express my fears and I revealed my own diagnosis, it moved markedly, then everything else was completed: ‘Do you understand?’ As if he was not able to competent.

I am a particularly frank voice sometimes. The overwhelming majority of people with whom work are ready to listen and friendly and respectful.

,I have education and experience to attract the fact that many other people are sometimes surprised if my strong opinions and a fierce defense are considered as a symparan complex parent to support my statements faults

I tend to continue well whenHe turned to stop talking, stop teaching, stop explaining, and I click on when the discussion goes my way. Sometimes I do not think it’s fine.

I do not know what it would be frankly, that the lawyer was not for my own experience.I would like to think that it would still be a voice, my children deserve, but I suspect that it is possible that there has not been many meetings controversial along the way, if it did not live after these moments and experience.

Therapies related to neutroism that will help you provide better design?

I never found the right therapy for work in any of us.Thus, as no one condemns, the same identical needs or therapy will not have the same influence for all.

We use many techniques taken from a professional therapy so that our family runs more smoothly.We use visual graphics, procedures and a lot of practice with the basic skills of life. We use Speech therapy and even pecs (with the image communication system) as necessary to facilitate communication.

we make the yoga postulate to help with a little work of the mind / body, and personally,The best I found was working with the therapist using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) learn to release its own ‘normal’ expectations, which does not exist for anyone elsewhere.

Parentingis The question is to be a guide; Sometimes you have to change the trip to meet the needs of all. You just need to know how to do it in such a way that nobody felt missing.

Reflection education in relief of dad with diagnosis of Aidelong autism

Christopher Scott Wyatt, an adult with autism (and Philosophy),that is blogged about your AttTP experience: // www.tameri.cs / csw / autism. He and his wife are receiving (and potentially adopted) parents of children with special needs.

What led to the fact that he found his seductive igology?

From the moment there is a change on the label , I’m not sure they were useful; In any case, they limited the options at the beginning of my education.Today they were ambivalent about the diagnoses of our children. This can help, and it can damage.

I discovered that you have the area of your decision to have children? And if so, how did you make a decision?

It’s not really.We wait until they belonged to the house and were safe enough, which is probably more about our personalities in general. My wife, and wanted to offer a good and stable home for any child, whether natural or acceptable.

I discovered that he has in the area, how are you parents?

It is possible that my autism makes me more patient, if only because I knew how I was experiencing education and support.I am patient with the needs of children for a quiet order, order and sense of control. I understand, I want things to be ordered and predictable. They need it as adoptive children, and they will need if we can accept.

What types of documents of documents are with who found because you have an area?

We do not have a support network, at least not at the local level. We are owners of children, with support provided in schools.Then, in this sense, they did not seem to other parents, because we do not have social interactions, many parents do it. Playdates does not happen because other elderly close children of ours.

What are some of the methods of copy and strategy you would like to go together?

Quiet time and quiet places for us and children. Bean bags with books help them.We also have sensory items: stress balls, thought, tip balls and other things to play with the underscore.

Do you think it is found that it seems harder to handle neurotype expectations between parents, therapists, teachers and others?

I was quickly disappointed to social hardworking schools and courts.I do not understand why the needs of children do not have higher priority. My wife reminds me of walking or going somewhere silence after dealing with the system that does not work for children.

Therapies related to Neutroism that will help you deteriorate better?

I’m not a fan of most behavioral therapy negative experience. My mechanisms to overcome artmusing, drawing, painting, letters and photos.We found that painting and drawing the girls as well. When girls should slow down and reorient, music (curious, Elvis’Lovy, I am Gentile ‘) works.

Our goal is to remind girls that labels do not define them and should not be determined.

Frequently asked questions

  • During autism spectrum disorder (ASD), there is a tendency to run in families, there is no guarantee that a child born of parents with ASD inherited disorder. However, the 2019 study showed that there is a higher risk of Abd development, if there are a family history of mental or neurological disorders.

  • basically the sense, a neurotype man is the one that has no diagnosis of autism or shows differences in development or intellectuals.However, the definition can be applied to the inclusion of other interpretations and was used to describe a person who thinks and behaves in the way it is considered the ‘normal’ society.

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